You’re penalized for asking and you’re penalized for not asking.
The research proves the game is overtly rigged, so if you’re paying the tax either way, you might as well collect what you came for. Today I’m sharing the moment I stopped waiting for a seat at someone else’s table and built my own, the peer-reviewed research that will infuriate you, and a framework for making audacious asks in your business, relationships, and the communities you’re building.
3 Key Takeaways from this Episode:
The research that proves the game is rigged and why that’s actually liberating. I’ll walk you through the Harvard studies showing women face 5.5x the penalty for negotiating, why we negotiate ourselves down $7,000 before anyone says a word, and the impossible double-bind: you’re penalized for asking AND for not asking.
My “building my own table” story and why I walked away from a billion-dollar team. I’ll share leaving corporate in 2008 with a $700 laptop during the Great Recession, and how that audacity led to $280 million+ in client revenue. The audacity wasn’t starting a business.
The four mechanics of audacious asks that work everywhere. I’ll teach you how to state instead of ask, remove the escape hatch, anchor high and first, and claim then explain in pricing conversations, friendships, family, and community leadership.
Redefine Your Relationship with Audacity Inside Pretty Damn Ambitious
The women I work with inside Pretty Damn Ambitious are removing the apology from their asks. Stating their rates without the escape hatch. Building businesses — and lives — that don’t require anyone else’s permission.
If you’re tired of softening, hedging, and waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay to want what you want, I’d love to work with you.
Take the Free Elevation Assessment
This is the exact assessment I used to increase my 2025 revenue by 39%, and the same one women inside Pretty Damn Ambitious use to identify their next breakthrough.
The gap between who you are and who you’re becoming? It’s costing you. Get your baseline score across identity, revenue, sovereignty, and capacity. Stop guessing where to focus. Start knowing.
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Research & Resources
Bowles, Babcock & Lai, “Social Incentives for Gender Differences in the Propensity to Initiate Negotiations” (2007), Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes
Amanatullah & Morris, “Negotiating Gender Roles” (2010), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
Exley & Kessler, “The Gender Gap in Self-Promotion” (2022), Quarterly Journal of Economics
Trombini, Akinola & Riley Bowles, “Self-Affirmation Increases Men’s Openness to Women’s Dominance Behaviors” (2024), Negotiation and Conflict Management Research
King, Bianca B. “You’re Not Crazy, You’re Ambitious: Lessons About Starting a Business” (2025), Forbes
Book
Voss, Chris. Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It (2016), Harper Business
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Know a woman who needs to hear this? Text them this episode. Your business bestie. Your sister. That friend who undercharges and over-apologizes. She needs this. When one woman stops hedging, she models a different way forward for every woman watching.
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Next Episode
We’re opening a brand new arc. Because once you’ve claimed what you want, the next question is: who actually gets to decide how you carry it?
There’s something you’ve been wearing for years that you didn’t realize you put on. And it’s been costing you more than you know. Most women don’t see it until someone names it. Next week, I’m naming it.
Episode 11 — drops next Tuesday.
Let’s Connect
What’s your audacious ask going to be? The rate increase email you’ve been drafting in your head? The boundary you’ve been avoiding? The thing you’ve been waiting to feel ready for? Drop me a DM:
